IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
19 Sept 24, 21:03
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary need improvement, and ideas should be more logically developed and supported with examples.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors23
Grammatical range and accuracy9
Lexical resource5
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response5
Question
Cultural tourism is celebrated for its economic benefits and educational value, yet it is also criticized for potentially harming the cultures it aims to showcase.
Do you agree or disagree that cultural tourism does more harm than good?
#Culture
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:206
Paragraphs:5
Word Count Requirement
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
tourism
culture
acquires benefits for economics and educational value. In my perspective, cultural destination is a top demand for visitors and it will easily append foreign exchange. I agree with this topic, but on the other hand, if they
can not
keep the authenticity will be lost and ruin their
culture
firstly, as
a tourist diverse
cultures
in every country are so interesting and
even
every country or province has ethnic, such as in
Bali
they have
lot of
traditional food, dance and
even
costume. They kept it as a
culture
for the Balinese.
not
only for their
lifestyle
even
they adapted as a show for foreigners as an income for Bali and
even
their Country which is Indonesia.
Missing Linking Devices
The contrary view to this viewpoint is that if visitors do not respect the
culture
it can be a threat, so it will become challenging for those who want to keep it for their life.
The way to still maintain cultural authenticity is disposing of the law to avoid people who act arbitrarily.
To summarize, I believe that cultural tourism is an outstanding aim to showcase and give a huge impact for income and education.
but
they must be careful of potentially harming and
miss
the
cultures
.

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