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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
01 Apr 25, 03:08
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task but lacks a clear thesis statement and personal opinion. Grammar and vocabulary are basic, with several errors, and the coherence and cohesion could be improved for better readability.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors36
Grammatical range and accuracy15
Lexical resource14
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4

Writing Task

#Culture
#Advantage / Disadvantage
In many countries, governments spend significant resources on promoting national culture through festivals, museums, and public television programs.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of governments promoting national culture?

Submitted Answer

Words252|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
promote
tradition using the money of the state. While many believe that this is beneficial for
local
community, some people say that this will cause an
increasing
number
of tourist which a negative outcome if this is not managed properly,
One of the benefits of
promoting
culture
is boosting the tourism industry that benefits the
local
citizen and small
busineses
. In
other
words, this will have a big impact in the
country
to
encourage
entrepreneur
to start a small business. Also, this is an opportunity to provide a job, especially for the
local
residents. For instance, in Baguio City, they use
thier
tradition to provide products, services, and job opportunity especially for the community. As a result, small businesses will patronize because of the
increasing
number
of
tourist
in the
country
.
On the
other
hand, there are disadvantages associated
in
promoting
the
culture
of the
country
.
One
the
disadvantages are environmental problems, that result
to
polution
, waste and crowded
city
, due to
increasing
number
of
tourist
in the area. For example, in Thailand, they
promote
thier
culture
and tradition using social media platform, that encourage
other
country
to visit
thailand
. However, due to the
increasing
number
of
visitor
in the
country
, Thailand is now congested and polluted. In
other
words,
promoting
our
culture
will have a negative effect in our environment.
In conclusion, Some individuals believe that
promoting
culture
is beneficial for
local
community and the
country
. While,
other
people say that there is a negative effect of this
in
our environment.

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