IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
10 Jul 24, 20:15
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question well, providing relevant examples and a clear opinion. However, grammatical errors and awkward phrasing reduce readability and coherence. Improved vocabulary and sentence structure would enhance the overall quality.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 34 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 17 | |
| Lexical resource | 10 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Investing in technology can be seen as essential for a country's development and competitive edge.
How crucial is government spending on technology? What benefits does such spending bring?
#Government Spending
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:270
Paragraphs:5
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
technology
would be a short-sighted strategy. It is evident that most segment
of human activities are utilizing tools to conduct, and with notable increase on
its advancement, it reaches even more greater
value for country
's development
. I utterly opine that a country
should allocate an adequate amount of budget for this sector. The benefit of technology
can be beneficial to country
's environment, economy
and security
,It is undeniable that human activities have impacted the nature badly, with a modified machine,
human
can accelerate the restoration. For example, the government shall fund the research and development
of sea cleaner machine. Morever
, with a continous
attention and monitor from government
, the scientist can be supported to create more eco-friendly technology
such as an advanced tool that only requires less energy than its'
previous model but has bigger power.Second, innovation in
technology
can attract investor
that lead to the growth of economy
. this
new idea can also increase country
competitive power in the international battle of economy
.Lastly, the
technology
is now essential for national security
, physically or not. The development
of technology
also create more and smarter criminal offence. To combat that modern kind of crime, a country
shall be equiped
with an updated machinery. For instance, a firewall to protect data shall regularly be monitored and updated to strengthen the security
of the database.In short,
country
shall invest on
the technology
acquirement as well as support the scientists on
their research and development
funding. This investment become paramount to enhance
and protect country
's environment, economy
and security
.