IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
10 Jul 24, 20:15
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question well, providing relevant examples and a clear opinion. However, grammatical errors and awkward phrasing reduce readability and coherence. Improved vocabulary and sentence structure would enhance the overall quality.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors34
Grammatical range and accuracy17
Lexical resource10
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Investing in technology can be seen as essential for a country's development and competitive edge.
How crucial is government spending on technology? What benefits does such spending bring?
#Government Spending
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:270
Paragraphs:5
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
in this contemporary era, not investing in
technology
would be a short-sighted strategy. It is evident that most
segment
of human activities are utilizing tools to conduct, and with notable increase
on
its advancement, it reaches even
more greater
value for
country
's
development
. I utterly opine that a
country
should allocate an adequate amount of budget for this sector. The benefit of
technology
can be beneficial to
country
's environment,
economy
and
security
,
It is undeniable that human activities have impacted the nature badly, with a modified machine,
human
can accelerate the restoration. For example, the government shall fund the research and
development
of sea cleaner machine.
Morever
, with a
continous
attention and monitor from
government
, the scientist can be supported to create more eco-friendly
technology
such as an advanced tool that only requires less energy than
its'
previous model but has bigger power.
Second, innovation in
technology
can attract
investor
that lead to the growth of
economy
.
this
new idea can also increase
country
competitive power in the international battle of
economy
.
Lastly, the
technology
is now essential for national
security
, physically or not. The
development
of
technology
also create more and smarter criminal offence. To combat that modern kind of crime, a
country
shall be
equiped
with an updated machinery. For instance, a firewall to protect data shall regularly be monitored and updated to strengthen the
security
of the database.
In short,
country
shall invest
on
the
technology
acquirement as well as support the scientists
on
their research and
development
funding. This investment become paramount to
enhance
and protect
country
's environment,
economy
and
security
.

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