IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
15 Jul 24, 11:40
Want to practice?
Try this question

Overall Feedback

The essay provides a clear opinion and relevant examples, but it suffers from numerous grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement. Improved coherence and more varied vocabulary would enhance the overall quality.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors37
Grammatical range and accuracy7
Lexical resource23
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Tourism offers an opportunity for cultural exchange and learning, promoting understanding among different peoples. However, it can also perpetuate negative stereotypes when visitors form shallow or incorrect impressions of the host culture.
To what extent do you agree or disagree that tourism is more educational than it is harmful in perpetuating stereotypes?
#Tourism
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:352
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Without a
doubt
tourisim
has proven to be an effective
way
of of
socio-cultural interactions among people as well as an effective
way
of
sharingknowledge
amongst
each other.
Tourism
is
the one of
the main source for most
countries
if not all. However, I agree that
tourism
has been more educational than harmful. For
one
through
tourism
we
get
to
learn
about
different
cultures
way
of dressing,eating and even their daily operations. Moreover, through
tourism
we
get
to
learn
different
ways
of operating daily.
First and foremost, through
tourism
we
get
to exchange
cultures
and
learn
more about each
others
way
of living. Take for example The Maasai Mara in Kenya where most foreigners
get
to
learn
about the Maasai people their
way
of dressing,their eating habits as well as their daily
way
of living. In exchange such communities receive gifts like clothes,
different
foods and maybe even technological devices from the foreigners. Proper knowledge like this on
different
cultures
enables us to
share
different
our
way
of
different
practices like wearing of
vitenges
in most East African countries ,
sharing
our national dishes like
fufu
from
nigeria
or pasta from
italy
. Through Tourism, we are able to find common ground
amongst
each other.
Moreover, through
tourism
we are able to
share
skills and simple
ways
of operating. Take into comparison the
traffic
rules in Kenya as compared to those in Austria. In Kenya,observance of
traffic
rules is low
especially
when there are no
traffic
police supervising the cars and people.
However
in Austria
traffic
police are not required ad in the even that a law is broken the captured
perpetators
are simply sent a fine for their offences. Through
tourism
this could be good skill to be implemented in order to curb with lawlessness in the roads and also ensure the safety of
pedesrtians
. This in turn shows how sharing of practices and implementation can change us for the better
In conclusion, in as much as
tourism
may be a source of negative stereotypes, the amount of education brought through
sharing
cultures
and ideas is the
way
forwad
.