IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
15 Jul 24, 11:40
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Overall Feedback
The essay provides a clear opinion and relevant examples, but it suffers from numerous grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement. Improved coherence and more varied vocabulary would enhance the overall quality.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 37 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7 | |
| Lexical resource | 23 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Tourism offers an opportunity for cultural exchange and learning, promoting understanding among different peoples. However, it can also perpetuate negative stereotypes when visitors form shallow or incorrect impressions of the host culture.
To what extent do you agree or disagree that tourism is more educational than it is harmful in perpetuating stereotypes?
#Tourism
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:352
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
doubt
tourisim
has proven to be an effective way
of of
socio-cultural interactions among people as well as an effective way
of sharingknowledge
amongst
each other. Tourism
is the one of
the main source for most countries
if not all. However, I agree that tourism
has been more educational than harmful. For one
through tourism
we get
to learn
about different
cultures
way
of dressing,eating and even their daily operations. Moreover, through tourism
we get
to learn
different
ways
of operating daily.First and foremost, through
tourism
we get
to exchange cultures
and learn
more about each others
way
of living. Take for example The Maasai Mara in Kenya where most foreigners get
to learn
about the Maasai people their way
of dressing,their eating habits as well as their daily way
of living. In exchange such communities receive gifts like clothes,different
foods and maybe even technological devices from the foreigners. Proper knowledge like this on different
cultures
enables us to share
different
our way
of different
practices like wearing of vitenges
in most East African countries , sharing
our national dishes like fufu
from nigeria
or pasta from italy
. Through Tourism, we are able to find common ground amongst
each other.Moreover, through
tourism
we are able to share
skills and simple ways
of operating. Take into comparison the traffic
rules in Kenya as compared to those in Austria. In Kenya,observance of traffic
rules is low especially
when there are no traffic
police supervising the cars and people. However
in Austria traffic
police are not required ad in the even that a law is broken the captured perpetators
are simply sent a fine for their offences. Through tourism
this could be good skill to be implemented in order to curb with lawlessness in the roads and also ensure the safety of pedesrtians
. This in turn shows how sharing of practices and implementation can change us for the betterIn conclusion, in as much as
tourism
may be a source of negative stereotypes, the amount of education brought through sharing
cultures
and ideas is the way
forwad
.