IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
18 Jul 24, 19:36
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but contains numerous grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Vocabulary usage is adequate but could be more varied, and the ideas need better development and logical flow.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 4.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 38 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 9 | |
| Lexical resource | 22 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some jurisdictions have implemented stricter laws for young offenders as a deterrent to youth crime. These laws often include severe penalties and longer sentences.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of implementing stricter laws for youth offenders?
#Youth Crime
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:281
Paragraphs:5
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
crimes
per day, gang groups are seeking younger members to commit their crimes
. Teenagers are valuable since they are agile and haven't
formed yet a moral and ethical compass, which individuals with strong beliefs may take advantage.
By increasing a penalty for the youth, we prevent the cycle of recrution
and educate children about the dangers of unfollowing laws.For example, a child who sees his brother
imprisioned
will believe brother
's acomplishments
were wrong and shouldn't
be persued
.Strictier rules
defines
a longer period for felon
to rethink past actions, leading to a spiritual rebound with help
of jail teachers and psycologists
. Meanwhile, they learn how to contribute to society and explore self-grown without illegal activity. When their sentence is over, they start from fresh searching for jobs and a life partner, while not being dependent as is the cage of older compratiots
.However, defending severe punishment for immature criminals may lead to feelings of insecurity, fear and distrust of
police
or goverment
, as they feel they were left to rot in prison. Not only that, but staying long at
group cells may create trauma made from undesireable
contact with mentally illed
perpretators
. It's
impossible to know who we will be sitting next to for the next years of our life, so making sure inmates have always health checks and meetings with families and friends is helpful to maintaining moral!We
can't
stop crime
from happening. But we can devaluate
its value with stricter law efforcement
and heaftier
penalties
since commiting
crime
is not worth their life. This can be done with the help of ads, family, school and more!