IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
06 Aug 24, 09:33
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic with several errors, and the ideas are not well-developed or logically organized.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 19 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6 | |
| Lexical resource | 5 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
In most developed countries shopping is not only about buying the goods you need, it is also perceived as entertainment.
Is it a positive or negative development? Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience.
#Entertainment
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:251
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
shopping
is accessible everywhere. Therefore
, in many
developed countries, shopping
has become more of a fulfillment
of personal entertainment than a need. Moreover, this essay will strongly oppose why shopping for entertainment is a negative idea.Shopping
has become more accessible everywhere with technology. consequently
, that resulted in negative outcomes where someone could spend an absurd amount of money on unnecessary stuff. For example, shopaholics spend an insane amount on extremely unwanted stuff just to fill their needs. As a result, many
of them by the end of the month stay staving and would not be able to pay for their bills. Nevertheless, I believe that shopping
should mainly be for insistence, and spoiling yourself sometimes is not harmful.Based on personal
experience
overly shopping for wants is quite harmful and wasteful. For example, when I was a child in middle school I was given an allowance of 50 riyals a week, spending it in one day for
a toy was an unwise decision. Resulted, in me starving for the rest of the week with no school launch. However, I learned a lesson about overspending. Moreover, many
people go homeless for the same reason.in conclusion, the development of technology has led to
many
people using shopping as a fan experience. therefore
, many
buyers who overspend their budget end up homeless on the street. Nevertheless, from personal experience, I suffered the consequences of it. Therefore
, a balance between both is the perfect solution for overspending.