IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7
7.0
Overall Score
19 Nov 24, 18:42
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Overall Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the task with a clear opinion and well-structured arguments, though it could benefit from more varied vocabulary. While the grammar is mostly accurate, a wider range of structures could enhance the overall quality.
| Overall score | 7.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 8.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 14 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 1 | |
| Lexical resource | 7 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 3 |
Question
Urban areas often provide better healthcare services and facilities, yet these advantages can be offset by the greater strains placed on these systems due to higher population densities.
Do you agree or disagree that the improvements in urban healthcare services outweigh the negative impacts of the increased strain on these systems?
#Urbanization
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:286
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
While
urban
areas
often boast advanced healthcare
systems
and facilities, I firmly disagree that these improvements outweigh the significant negative impacts of increased strain caused by high population
densities. Several critical issues demonstrate why prioritizing urban
healthcare
alone is unsustainable and detrimental to society as a whole.First, increasing
population
in urban
areas
overwhelms even the most advanced healthcare
systems
. Long queues, overworked hospital employees, and deteriorating service quality are direct consequences. When healthcare
providers are stretched thin, patients experience delayed treatments, compromising their health outcomes. This issue grows exponentially as urban
populations
rise, proving that mere improvements in healthcare
infrastructure cannot resolve the root problem.Second, urbanization often correlates with higher crime rates. A densely packed
population
creates an environment ripe for criminal activities, leading to more cases of injury or trauma requiring medical attention. Healthcare
facilities are forced to allocate resources to treat crime victims, reducing their capacity to manage other medical needs. This vicious cycle further burdens an already strained system
and highlights the unintended consequences of focusing solely on urban
areas
.Finally, the persistent emphasis on
urban
healthcare
improvements leaves rural
areas
neglected. Many people from rural
regions, facing inadequate facilities, are compelled to travel to cities for medical care. This migration exacerbates the strain on urban
hospitals and perpetuates the disparity between urban
and rural
healthcare
. Governments, trapped in a cycle of upgrading city-based services, fail to develop a more balanced and equitable system
.In conclusion, while
urban
healthcare
advancements are valuable, their benefits are overshadowed by the systemic challenges of high population
density, crime, and neglect of rural
areas
. Governments must adopt a more holistic approach to ensure healthcare
access for all, rather than focusing disproportionately on urban
areas
.