IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
18 Jul 24, 13:41
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question and provides a clear opinion, but it has several grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Vocabulary usage is adequate, but the development of ideas and logical flow could be improved for a higher score.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 15 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 2 | |
| Lexical resource | 6 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them.
In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
#Entertainment
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:267
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
video
games
can be both educational and fun whereas it also has negative impacts who play
them. The video
games
has
shown various advantages and disadvantages on human beings.Nowadays, digital system provides different types of
playing
games
. For instance, with the subscription and freely available games
. Where gamers can play
and explore within a remote area. With the leasure
period of time, boring has been shifted in the entertainment by playing
. Sometimes, load of work gives stress and tiredness to the people. In that situation, they can play
different types of games
as they want to feel relief. From an educational perspective, the games
encourage imagination and creativity, as well as concentration, logical thinking and problem-solving, all of which are useful skills outside the gaming context.However, I would argue that these benefits are outweighed by the drawbacks. Gaming can be highly addictive because users are constantly given scores, new targets and frequent rewards to make them feel like they are achieving something. For instance, many children now spend hours each day trying to progress through the levels of a
game
in the blind pursuit of achievement or to get a higher score than their friends out of the sense of competition. This type of addiction can have negative effects on
users, ranging from lack of sleep to problems at school or at work and obesity.In conclusion, although it is true that those who
play
video
games
can derive a certain level of excitement and can also learn something, these benefits pale in comparison with the potential dangers of video
games
.