IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5

7.5
Overall Score
09 Oct 24, 08:58
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task, discussing both benefits and drawbacks of video games, but could improve coherence by better linking ideas. Grammar and vocabulary are strong, though more varied sentence structures could enhance the range.
Overall score7.5
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors14
Grammatical range and accuracy1
Lexical resource5
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response3
Question
Video games are a popular form of entertainment among youth, with ongoing debates regarding their influence on behavior and cognitive development.
How do video games influence youth, and what are the potential benefits and drawbacks of playing video games?
#Technology
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:305
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Video
games
have become a significant form of entertainment for youth, with both positive and negative impacts on their cognitive and
behavioral
development. With advancements in digital technology, the role of
video
games
in
young
people's lives has evolved, leading to debates about their overall influence.
One notable benefit of
video
games
is their potential to enhance cognitive abilities.
Due to
technological progress in recent decades, children now have greater access to information through the internet, which can indirectly benefit their learning experiences. Many
games
require players to use skills
such as
concentration, quick decision-making, and short-term memory to succeed. For example, strategy
games
often demand high levels of focus and critical thinking, which can help improve mental agility.
However, despite these benefits, there are several drawbacks that must be addressed. One major concern is the addictive nature of
video
games
.
Due to
the stimulating and rewarding features of many
games
,
young
players can develop a dependency on them. This is particularly problematic for adolescents, who are at a sensitive stage of biological and psychological development during puberty. Additionally, frequent exposure to
video
games
can lead to social and emotional issues,
such as
envy or frustration, especially when competition is involved.
Moreover, the excessive use of digital devices poses physical risks. For example, prolonged screen time can expose users to harmful ultraviolet rays, which can damage eye health. This has led to a growing number of
young
people, particularly those under the age of 21, becoming dependent on eyeglasses
due to
digital eye strain.
In conclusion, while
video
games
can offer cognitive benefits
such as
improved focus and problem-solving skills, they also carry risks, including addiction and negative physical effects. It is important for
young
people to strike a balance between enjoying
video
games
and being mindful of the potential consequences.

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