IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
29 Jun 24, 12:51
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence in some parts. Grammar and vocabulary usage are adequate but could be improved for better readability and cohesion.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 27 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6 | |
| Lexical resource | 13 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them.
In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
#Entertainment
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:357
Paragraphs:6
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Video
games
can be absorbed by different perspectives as distinct ball games
. Whilst some believe that these games
help strengthen minds; others believe they're
harmful.Video
games
can be useful in numerous reasons. Kids are able to master the skill of multitasking and intellectual thinking by playing
games
like those car
racing ones where one needs to ensure good speed of the car and also
overtake other cars. Video
games
, through their illustration, root in children
a seed of wide imagination that further plays
a useful role in their skill-set for practical life.These puzzles raise your thinking speed, and
enchance
your capability to overachieve in less duration. When playing
these games
, different senses are being used like sight, touch and feel
which open up your mind! These games
, obviously, are also
a good time-pass, far better than age restricted movies and cartoons, causing children
to feel inferiority
complex.However,
video
games
are also
opposed by people. One reason for this could be the enormous harm these have on eye-sights. These plays are quite addictive and cause children
to think about them even when they are not supposed to
like when studying or working. Addiction of any thing
is wrong and should be highly condemned and this appears to be one factor of the same. When hooked to these games
, they dont
feel like eating/talking and lose their sanity in the long run.It is, therefore, recommended by
child
experts that
video
games
should rather be subtracted from the lives of
children
and adults since adults already got less time to spend with their families, so in their leisure time, all they do is
play
these
games
which
also
deeply plants in their nature, seeds of aggression.
In conclusion,
i
believe video
games
in a limit are acceptable, however, one shouldn't
consider those to be a significant part of their lives so much so that it's
almost impossible for them to drop hold of it. Henceforth, in my opinion, the drawbacks of video
games
are far more prominent than its benefits; and as a replacement, outdoor games
should be considered.