IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5
6.5
Overall Score
23 Jun 24, 13:53
Want to practice?
Try this question
Overall Feedback
The essay is well-structured and addresses the question effectively, with good grammar and vocabulary usage. However, it could benefit from more detailed examples and a clearer thesis statement to achieve higher coherence and task response scores.
| Overall score | 6.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 23 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 1 | |
| Lexical resource | 15 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Urbanization leads to increased cultural diversity as people from different backgrounds congregate in cities, but it can also contribute to the erosion of traditional local cultures.
Do you agree or disagree that the increase in cultural diversity due to urbanization is more beneficial than the loss of traditional cultures?
#Urbanization
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:309
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Urbanization
leads
to increased cultural
diversity
as people from different
backgrounds congregate in cities
, but it can also
contribute to the erosion of traditional
local
cultures
. This essay argues that while the increase in cultural
diversity
due to urbanization
is beneficial, it must be balanced against the preservation of traditional
cultures
.The most significant benefit of
urbanization
is the promotion of cultural
diversity
. Cities
attract people from various regions and countries, leading
to a melting pot of languages, traditions, and customs. This diversity
enriches urban
life, fostering greater understanding and tolerance among different
cultural
groups. It also
spurs innovation and creativity, as diverse
perspectives lead
to new ideas and solutions. For example, multicultural cities
often see a thriving arts scene, a wide range of culinary offerings, and dynamic cultural
festivals that celebrate different
heritages
.Moreover, the exchange of ideas and practices in
diverse
urban
settings can lead
to economic growth and social progress. Diverse
workforces are more innovative and adaptable, helping businesses to thrive and economies to grow. Cultural
diversity
also
enhances the educational environment, providing students with a broader worldview
and better preparation for a globalized world.However, the process of
urbanization
can lead
to the erosion of traditional
local
cultures
. As cities
grow, traditional
customs and ways of life may be overshadowed by modern, globalized lifestyles. This can result in the loss of unique cultural
identities and heritage
, which are irreplaceable and form an essential part of a community's history and character.In conclusion, while the increase in
cultural
diversity
due to urbanization
offers significant benefits, it is crucial to balance these advantages with efforts to preserve traditional
cultures
. Urban
policies should promote cultural
diversity
while also
protecting and celebrating local
traditions. By doing so, cities
can enjoy the best of both worlds: a rich, diverse
urban
culture
and the preservation of their unique cultural
heritage
.