IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
08 Aug 24, 20:14
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in discussing disadvantages and has some grammatical errors. Coherence and cohesion are adequate, but transitions between ideas could be smoother. Vocabulary is varied but not always used accurately.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors21
Grammatical range and accuracy9
Lexical resource4
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response3
Question
Tourism is a major job creator, especially in many developing countries.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the employment opportunities created by tourism.
#Tourism
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:340
Paragraphs:7
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Tourism
is a dynamic sector that significantly influences employment opportunities worldwide
.
As countries and regions embrace hospitality as a key component of their economic strategies, the industry’s ability to generate jobs becomes increasingly apparent. . This discussion will delve into both the advantages and disadvantages of the employment opportunities created by
tourism
, providing a balanced analysis of how this vibrant industry shapes the workforce and affects communities globally.
Firstly,
tourism
has formed a massive effect positively
to
the economy of many states. For instance, the UAE has yielded a significant income from visitors from overseas. The beautiful infrastructure, nature and fast life has attracted a lot of
tourist
to this destination, which has made the UAE has one of the most growing economies
in recent years
. The national GDP has increased with 5% from 2022 to
2023
which is a huge win.
Moreover, because of the fast growth in the
UAE
a lot of important international events have been hosted in the state. For instance, in 2023 they
hosted
the men's FIFA World Cup. Which gave them huge earnings
, because
they host these serious events they have made major updates on roads, buildings, communication systems and airports.This benefited both the foreigners and local residents.
Additionally
, it encourages cultural diverse communities, which brings individuals from different backgrounds together, enforcing unity and awareness. This creates a safe and friendly environment for a lot of people from various cultures.It can foster a common understanding between the visitors and host societies.
In conclusion, while recreation offers immense merits , it is essential to recognize and address the problems associated with it.
one of the main pressing issues associated with leisure travel is cultural erosion. So many people from different cultures visit these nations and some of them end up staying, which causes it difficult to acknowledge the true owners of the country due to colliding norms and values.
Additionally
, there can arise vast cases of illegal substance being smuggled into the country by foreigners.
Additionally
,
tourism
employment
result
in increased living
costs
.

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