IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
08 Aug 24, 18:01
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in discussing disadvantages. Grammar errors and informal language affect readability. Coherence and cohesion are adequate, but transitions could be smoother. Vocabulary is varied but not always precise.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 33 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 15 | |
| Lexical resource | 8 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Tourism is a major job creator, especially in many developing countries.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the employment opportunities created by tourism.
#Tourism
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:294
Paragraphs:7
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
made
huge
impact
creating jobs especially
in developing countries.Missing Linking Devices
comes
with hospitality.firstly, tourism has
made
a huge
effect positively to the economy of many states. For instance, the UAE has yielded a significant income from visitors from overseas. The beautiful infrastucture
, nature and fast life has attracted a lot of tourist to this destination, which has made
the UAE have
one of the most growing econimies
in the recent years
. The national GDP has increased with 5% from 2022 to 2023 which is a huge
win.Moreover, because of the fast growth in the
UAE
a lot of important international events have been hosted in the state. For instance, in 2023 they hosted the men's FIFA World Cup, which gave them
huge
earnings
, because
they host these serious
events
they have
made
major updates on roads, buildings, communication systems and airports, which benefits both the foreigners and local residents.
Additionally, it encourages cultural diverse communities, which brings individuals from different backgrounds
together
creating
unity and awareness. which
creates a safe and friendly environment for a lot of people from various cultures. This can foster a common understanding between the visitors and host societies.In conclusion, while recreation offers immense merits , it is essential to recognize and address the problems associated with it.
one of the main pressing issues associated with leisure travel is cultural erosion. So many people from different cultures visit these nations and some of them end up staying, which
makes
it difficult to acknowledge the true owners of the country due to colliding norms and values. Additionally, ther
can arise a vast cases
of illegal substance being smuggled into the country by foreigners.