IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
17 Mar 25, 20:25
Want to practice this question?
Go to IELTS Essay Checker
Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views and providing a personal opinion, but it lacks depth in idea development and contains several grammatical errors. Vocabulary is adequate but could be more varied, and coherence and cohesion are somewhat hindered by awkward phrasing and transitions.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 30 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6 | |
| Lexical resource | 16 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Writing Task
#Health
#Discussion
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Submitted Answer
Words304|Paragraphs4
English:
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
public
health and physical activities are important for the community
. Some may argue, that increasing
sports facilities
is the only effective way
to improve public
health. In contrast, others think that this action has a minimal effect and other
measured are needed. In my opinon
, building more
sports facilities
is not the only way
to increase
public
health. This essay will discuss
both prespectives
and provide relevant examples.To begin with,
increasing
the number of sport facilities
is important as a first step to increase
public
health. To illustrates, having more
gym and sports buildings, that are accessible for all individuals, will result in a positive impact for the overall community
health. For example, people are encouraged by each other
, people will start communities
for physical activities such as walking, running, and swimming to support each other
along the journey. I think this action will lead to a healthy community
.Although building
more
sports facilities
will increase
public
health, there are other
means that have a signifiact
impact which will boost community
health. Another arguement
is focusing on other
ways
to develop public
health
such as, rasing
awareness on
health, or offering incentives. For instance, some people are not joining the gym because of its high joining fee, however, when it offers a discounts
most of the individuals are enrolling and distrbuting
this incentive to others. I believe there are a lot of ways
that can elevate public
health more than just increasing
the number of facilities
.In conclusion, it is undeniably that having
more
sports and gym facilities
will help improving
public
health. However, this improvement is minimal if not supported by other
measures like promoting healthy life advantages, or incentivies
individuals. From my view, I consider other
measures are more benefitial
to enhance public
health.