IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
26 Jul 24, 14:32
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Overall Feedback

The essay demonstrates good grammatical range and lexical resource, but it fails to address the given question about technology and complexity. Coherence and cohesion are weak due to the off-topic response, and task achievement is significantly lacking.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion4.0
Task response3.0
Total Errors15
Grammatical range and accuracy1
Lexical resource7
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Some believe technology has made our lives too complex, and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
#Technology
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:289
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
There is no denying that becoming a successful professional often involves starting
early
. Many people believe that choosing a
career
path
early
in life and sticking with it leads to greater
success
. In my opinion, I strongly agree with this perspective, as
early
career
commitment offers numerous advantages, such as better opportunities and skill development.
To begin with, certain professions require a deep level of expertise that can only be achieved through extended learning and
experience
. For example, Mark Zuckerberg, the CEO of Facebook, made a pivotal decision in his sophomore year at Harvard to leave school and focus on his company. His
early
commitment to his
career
enabled him to become one of the wealthiest and most influential entrepreneurs in the world. This demonstrates that dedicating time and effort
early
in life can lead to significant professional
success
and societal respect.
On the other hand, it is important to acknowledge that skills and
experience
are invaluable and can be accumulated through various
career
paths
. For instance, Tun Mahathir Bin Mohamad, the former Prime Minister of Malaysia, started his
career
as a doctor and later became an influential politician and author. His diverse
experiences
allowed him to excel in multiple fields, illustrating that while
early
specialization has its benefits, a varied
career
path
can also lead to
success
.
In conclusion, while there are notable examples of individuals who have achieved
success
later in life, starting
early
can provide distinct advantages.
Early
career
commitment allows individuals to develop deep expertise and gain valuable
experience
, paving the way for future
success
. However, it is also important to recognize that skills and opportunities can be developed through varied
career
experiences
, making both
early
specialization and
career
exploration valid
paths
to professional achievement.