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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
19 Feb 25, 17:36
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task but lacks clarity and coherence, with frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Vocabulary is limited and sometimes inaccurately used, affecting the overall readability and effectiveness of the argument.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors30
Grammatical range and accuracy10
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4

Writing Task

#Entertainment
#Discussion
Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Submitted Answer

Words274|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
There is an opinion that music is a simple form of entertainment
because
people
do not focus on things, which they hear, whereas other
people
think that music affects
to
modern public, due to unpointed work of our brain. I side with those who believed in an
impact
of music on our lives.
Some
people
suggest that music is not an essential thing in daily life
because
there are a few amounts of
people
who accept audial information, such as music. There is a concept
about
dividing
whole
society
into four
grops
according
prefered
types of information. One of group (around 25%) is an '
audials
',
people
, who is
influnced
by audio, includes music. Therefore, music counted like an unimportant thing
because
of minority of
audials
.
However, there is a belief, which
i
support, that music affects
to
people
because
of shadow work of
brain
. Thoughts, which
people
can think about influence on lives, but unrecognized processes have an
impact
as large as obvious ones. According
scientific
research, listening to music can produce special chemicals, which can make us happy or sad, active or relaxed and be in other
dufferent
moods. The role of emotions in
society
is certainly important and
idea
, that emotions influence on
society
is very common.
In conclusion, while some believe that music has not an any
impact
on
people
because
of lack of attention on hearing, I support those who think that
impact
of music is much larger than it is supposed, although there are
not
direct connection between thinking process and listening to music, the emotions, which appear as the result of music's
impact
, influence on modern
society

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