IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
19 Feb 25, 17:30
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Overall Feedback

The essay attempts to address the task but lacks clarity and coherence, with frequent grammatical errors affecting readability. Vocabulary is adequate but lacks precision and variety, and the development of ideas is limited with insufficient examples.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors40
Grammatical range and accuracy17
Lexical resource14
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4

Writing Task

#Entertainment
#Discussion
Many people believe that music is just a form of entertainment, whilst others believe that music has a much larger impact on society today.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Submitted Answer

Words273|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
There is an opinion that music is a simple form of entertainment
,
because
people
do not
focusing
on
things
, which they hear, whereas other
people
think that music
affect
to modern public, due to unpointed work of our brain. I side with those who believed in an
impact
of music on our lives.
Some
people
suggest that music is not
a very important
thing
in daily life
,
because
there are a few
amount
of
people
who
is
accept
audial information, such as music. There is a concept about dividing whole
society
into four
grops
according
prefered
types of information. One of group (around 25%) is an
audials
,
people
, who
is
influnced
by audio, includes music.
Therefor
, music counted like an unimportant
thing
,
because
of minority of
audials
.
However, there is a belief, which
i
support, that music
affect
to
people
,
because
of
shadow
work of
brain
.
Things
, which
people
can think about influence on lives, but unrecognized processes have an
impact
as large as obvious ones. According
scientific
research, listening to music can produce special chemicals, which can make us happy or sad, active or relaxed and other
dufferent
moods. The role of emotions in
society
is certainly important, and
idea
, that emotions influence on
society
is very common.
In conclusion, while some believe that music has not an any
impact
on
people
,
because
of lack of attention on hearing, I support those who think that
impact
of music is much larger than it is supposed, although there are
not
direct connection between thinking process and listening to music, emotions, which appear as the result of music's
impact
, influence on modern
society

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