IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
12 Jul 24, 10:06
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The essay addresses the causes and solutions for students working while studying but has several grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Improved sentence structure and better organization of ideas would enhance clarity and readability.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors36
Grammatical range and accuracy17
Lexical resource12
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure.
What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
#Education
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:262
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
There is a trend of
students
engaging in a
part
-
time
job while pursuing their studies. This leads
negative
impacts
in
student
's life in several ways. I believe This trend has many negative
problems
and those can be solved in various ways.
The expensive education
fee
is the main
problem
for
students
doing
part
-
time
jobs. As the tuition
fees
are
high
and belonging from
middle class
family they
won't
be able to pay their
fees
. Because of the lack of the financial
stablization
they will be compelled to work. On top that, They also have to look
afer
their personal and household expenses. For instance, The
student
from developing countries go overseas for
higher
education where the education
fee
are
high
so they are forced to do
part
-
time
work. Furthermore, not only to overcome
fee
problem
also to
fulfill
their personal desire they engage in
part
-
time
work . To withstand
these
problem
government has
vital
role.
The government universities should provide different scholarship facilities for
students
according to the
student
's performance. In addition, this should also be followed in private universities. For example, If there is scholarship for
higher
attendance and for good
result
then
student
will engage more in studying rather than finding jobs. Moreover,This enhances the
students
time
towards their studies.
In conclusion, Many
students
are compelled to work because of their poor financial
background
which can be solved by providing various discounts
in
fees
which
helps
student
to pay more attention to their studies . Furthermore, It reduces stress of work pressure for
students
.