IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
13 Nov 24, 18:57
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task but lacks clarity and coherence in some parts, with several grammatical errors affecting readability. Vocabulary is adequate but could be more varied, and the essay would benefit from a clearer thesis statement and more logical flow of ideas.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors39
Grammatical range and accuracy14
Lexical resource15
Coherence & cohesion6
Task response4
Question
Strict parental discipline is a controversial topic, where some argue it teaches respect and good behavior, while others believe it can lead to fear or resentment.
Analyze the benefits and drawbacks of strict parental discipline.
#Family
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:288
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
There is a
believe
that teach
children
with a strict discipline
is
important and a good way,while others think that it can lead to mental issues.What are the advantages and disadvantages?
From one hand,strict discipline can be
great
advantages for young generation.The main argument for this is
most of parents
want to control their
children
as they do not know what is the bad and what is the good.The another reason for this is this method can oppose to disobeying or to bad
behavior
of
children
to the common
rules
.
For instance,in
Japan
if
pupil
do not do their
homework
they
forced
them to clean toilets and the most interesting is
parents
do not against to
this
rules
.As a result,pupil in the land
wher
is the sun rise is
one
the most disciplined.If in contrast,maybe majority of young people would behave the way they want and maybe forget about
honor
upper generation.To sum up,the
childrean
's
contol
should be done by their families.
On the other
hand
over disciplined can
be cause
of damaging mentally and this does not mean that any cruel
rules
can be applied.According to some
researchers
the
children
who over controlled by their families are more likely to petty bullying and bully other
children
in school
or
they start lie and hide
afrading
of results.As a result,it can lead to fear.For example,the controlled parents may
loose
their relationship with
thier
children
.To sum up,over controlling can affect in a bad way too.
To conclude,I would find the idea of parental nurturing is important and necessary.Nevertheless,the
type of
rules
should not be too strict

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