IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
15 Jul 24, 18:32
Want to practice?
Try this question
Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence in some parts. Grammar and vocabulary usage need improvement, and the ideas should be more logically developed and supported with examples.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 27 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 13 | |
| Lexical resource | 7 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Violent content in movies, video games, and other forms of entertainment is often criticized for its potential negative effects on viewers, especially young audiences.
What problems might arise from exposure to violent content in entertainment, and what measures can be taken to address these issues?
#Entertainment
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:272
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
have
been some criticism about the circulation of movies and video
games with elements of violence, because
it has affected badly to viewers, particularly minors. When children
expose
to violent content
, they can imitate their actions and have anxiety. So the solution for this are strict actions of the government as well as educating youngsters and limit
each person's ability to cope with the videos
.A strong effect of digital resources has
pose
a threat to community's life. To be more specific, new channels and programmes consist of some danger scenes that affect inhabitant's morale in a negative way, especially juveniles. For example, some videos
on Youtube
bring trashy subjects such as murder scene and abuse prohibited
substances
which make the kids follow them. Moreover, disturbing videos
can cause children
to feel anxious
as they
afraid something similar could happen to them in real life. They cannot tell the difference between what's
they see
on the screen and what's
real. For instance, new studies show that virtual violence can trigger mental health struggles, including depression and anxiety.The most viable solution is to implement stricter policies for the new channels and programmes companies in order to get them away from produce such toxic
content
. The government should raise the minors' awareness about these violent content
by creating some campaigns to the school that approach to all children
and use it as a tool to check the youngsters mental healthIn conclusion, in order to prevent
those violent
content
from affecting individuals' mind, it can be limited by government actions as well as raise awareness for children
.