IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
05 Jul 24, 10:03
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the relationship between education and youth crime but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Improved coherence and more precise vocabulary would enhance the overall quality.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 33 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 17 | |
| Lexical resource | 8 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
Education plays a critical role in shaping the future of young individuals and potentially their inclination towards criminal behavior.
Discuss the relationship between educational opportunities and youth crime, and suggest how improving education could reduce such crimes.
#Youth Crime
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:345
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
are
a strong connection between education
and youth crime as it is believed that education
has an important role in shaping the future of young
generation and able to reduce the criminal commitments. This essay will
discuss
about the
relationship between education
and criminal behavior
.Education
provides informative knowledges for young
people
and helps them to avoid getting troubles from things they could have. People
normally get information and updated knowledges including regulations through education
so it is vital for young
people
to be well-educated. There are many situations and cases around the world which
young
offenders do not know what they had
done was illegal because of lacking of information and not being able to learn about laws. This does not only happen in developing
nations where educational systems are not fully developed
or accessible but also in the developed
ones such as America, England, or Canada etc,..
where
the ratio of young
people
commit
crimes are
still high.According to reports,
education
is considered being one of the most expensive spending that a person has to afford
so making education
accessible for everyone is a strong solution in order to tackle the problem. There should be many scholarships or any incentives to encourage people
to join in and support them when they are learning in schools or universities. Germany is an example for
being a nation which does not charge any tuition fee
when people
study in
unversities
, and other fees
if needed are payable. However, not every country is able to provide free tuition fee
like developed
countries, another suggestion can be think
of is governments
can collaborate and support the universities so they can reduce the tuition fee
.In conclusion, there is an undeniable bond between
education
and criminal commitment of the young
individuals. It is fair to say that the crimes can only reduce significantly if the education
is accessible for everyone
and this will be a problem which authorities will need to have serious action to tackle on. Otherwise, there will be a downfall for our society.