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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
11 Apr 25, 09:49
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in exploring factors and solutions, with limited examples. Grammar errors and awkward phrasing affect clarity, while coherence and cohesion are hindered by abrupt transitions and underdeveloped ideas.
Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors31
Grammatical range and accuracy12
Lexical resource11
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4

Writing Task

#Food
#Problem / Solution
Many countries rely heavily on imported food, which can be unsustainable and risky.
What factors contribute to a heavy reliance on imported food, and what can be done to encourage more local food production?

Submitted Answer

Words258|Paragraphs5
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Thesis Statement
There are a lot of
countries
highly depend on imported food that causes unsustainable and risky. I believe that those factors happen
because
the
country
do not know how to
use
their
sources
, especially in developing
countries
like Indonesia.
Indonesia has been the largest
country
export many natural
sources
including food materials, mineral
sources
, to any
other
natural
sources
. It already
happen
for more than
decade
. The government system in Indonesia is
quiet
bad
because
they prefer to sell it to
another
countries
in order to increase the
countrie
's income. However, they buy what they sell in
other
countries
and the price is getting higher
because
it's
imported.
In addition, it
become
bad habit in this
country
and become something could not be stopped. Furthermore,
people
should wake up from this reality and try to manage the
sources
that they have and make something bigger on it. Since Indonesia
have
a lot of natural resources,
meanwhile
other
countries
do not have it, they should start to
use
it wisely.
Meanwhile,
other
countries
are trying to steal all of the
sources
that Indonesia have. The action can be initiated from something small, for example
using
local ingredients for cooking,
make
the campaign to make the awareness for
people
, and
use
the social media to introduce the local
product thus
people
can be more aware.
To conclude, it is not
hard
to try
wake
people
up before it is getting late
,
because
they need to be more
concious
, and it could be beneficial for
people
and its
country
.

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