IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
03 Dec 24, 18:57
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task by identifying causes of youth crime and suggesting solutions, but lacks depth in idea development and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain errors and limited range, affecting clarity and coherence.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors22
Grammatical range and accuracy6
Lexical resource10
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response3
Question
Youth crime has been an issue of concern in many societies around the world. Understanding the reasons behind juvenile delinquency is crucial for developing effective interventions.
What do you think are the main causes of youth crime and how can society play a role in solving it?
#Youth Crime
#Direct Question
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:351
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
The
youth
crime
has been an
issue
of concern worldwide for decades, with no signs of
solutions
. Thus, studying the main
causes
for
juvenile delinquency has deemed necessary for finding radical
solutions
. This essay will examine the primary reasons behind this problem and suggest effective
solutions
.
Initially, the prominent
cause
for teenagers to commit
crimes
is the lack of sound judgement, which stems from their hormones. A teenager's hormones are in a constant imbalanced state. This irregularity affects their thoughts, their physical appearance, and their emotions. Hence, a deep depression or
an extreme anger
serving as a catalyst for their illicit actions. Another relevant reason is the bad upbringing the young delinquents experience, due to poor parenting, making them prone to violating laws. Finally, the last
cause
is possibly childhood trauma, as it plays a great role in an individuals personality and his
perpesctive
, particularly those involved with violence.
However, probing the global, primary
causes
for the
youth
crime
, aids in providing ways to decline its increasing rate. To begin with, the entire community should collaborate on spreading awareness of related, significant
issues
. Moreover, the specified authorities should establish mandatory community programs for
gaurdians
to support the parenting system. In additional, the laws dictating orphans, and the frameworks each foster home follows should be improved. All the mentioned target the roots of the
issue
, while the following aim for immediate
solutions
.
An immediate way to deal with the
issue
is to uphold the guardians with some liability in proportion to the
crime
type. This aims to alarm the guardians to take responsibility.
Laslty
, it is indicated in
a research
conducted in 2009 that most
youth
crimes
are triggered by a psychological
cause
. Therefore, it is essential to ensure public psychological therapy is accessible to the young people in any community
, because
it would provide help to those with emotional struggles, mental
issues
, and traumatic experiences.
Overall, the reasons for
youth
crime
are controversial and
varies
from a society to another, but there are universally shared
causes
as
mnetioned
. Thus, by comprehending them, we can initiate effective interventions, as suggested above.

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