IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
05 Feb 25, 13:43
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Overall Feedback
The essay presents a clear opinion and provides some examples, but it lacks depth in idea development and logical flow. There are several grammatical errors and limited vocabulary variety, which affect coherence and overall readability.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 20 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 2 | |
| Lexical resource | 9 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Writing Task
#Entertainment
#Agree / Disagree
The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society they live in.
To what extent do you agree and disagree?
Submitted Answer
Words260|Paragraphs4
English:
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Paragraph 1 Issues:
Missing Linking Devices
widespreard
of video games and other means of entertainment on portable phones
is doing more harm to people and our communities. This essay will discuss
why i firmly beleive
that this phenomenon has negatively affected the world.Although some might argue that using mobile
phones
is a good method to spend
free time
, others contend that it has driven the youth away from engaging in real life experiences in their respective communities, which has resulted in fragmented societies.
A perfect example for that is nowadays it is noticeable to observe a group of friends gathering in a public place with most of them checking their mobile phones
. This prevents creating the crucial bonds between friends and family members. Addidtionally
, Upcoming generations are growing further away from their respective culture. Owing to the fact that they are engrossed in their poratble
devices the majority of their time, they have limited connection with parents or elderly people. This essential connection that ensures the unity and social cohesion is being lost in the mean time
.Finally, The current abundance of portable
phones
has been scientifically proven to cause serious health problems to the users on the long term. These devices carry electromagnetic signals to provide access to local and international networks. The continuous exposure to these waves results in major diseases such as catarct
, which affects the eyesight. Not only that, but it also causes bone diseases.To conclude, It is evident that the current usage of
smart
phones
poses serious risks on the integrity of the society and its members' health.