IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
25 Jul 24, 04:02
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The essay addresses the question but contains grammatical errors and lacks a clear thesis statement. Coherence and cohesion are adequate, but the development of ideas and vocabulary usage could be improved for a higher score.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors23
Grammatical range and accuracy2
Lexical resource13
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Media campaigns aimed at preventing youth crime often use advertisements and educational programs to raise awareness about the consequences of criminal behavior.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of using media campaigns to prevent youth crime?
#Youth Crime
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:339
Paragraphs:3
Paragraph Count Requirement
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
The twenty-first century has seen a rise in the criminal activities
amoung
the gen z demography. They indulge in various classes of misdeeds and even violence. The compelling challenge faced by those at the aim of
afairs
, is to discourage young people from
such
activities and encourage those involved to refrain from
such
. The most frequently employed technique is educational programs and positive advertisements. The article hopes to expose some merits and demerits of these methods of
desuation
.
Everyone knows that advertisements are a powerful means of sending out information to the public. It has been a means used by multiple agencies, governmental and
non governmental
, to reach people with the information they intend. Using advertising to
disuade
young people from crime is a step in the right direction, But there are two sides to a coin. While advertising will inform the criminal that the attitude is illegal, it will not address their motivation. There has to be a reason for
commiting
a crime. If the purpose is not addressed, the bad behaviour will not stop. There are limits to the extent or impact advertisements can have on those who commit crime. Often times, this is ignored.
furthermore, the outcomes of educational programs in informing youths of the dangers of criminal behaviours have been impressive. The programs are carefully curated. They are created for different groups of criminals. In my view, they are more impactful on the lives of the individuals because they expose the penalties for
such
acts, reveal alternative activities that can prevent
such
criminal
offenses
, and enlightens the youth about the laws of the land. It is a form of therapy for them.
In many cases
, these educators serve as mentors to the students. This relationship
fausters
an interpersonal interaction between the mentor and mentee. While this
menthod
proves beneficial, it has its drawbacks. The first is, it is difficult to implement because the mentors fear that they could be attacked. The second factor this method is not employed is the cost of implementing it.