IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7
7.0
Overall Score
18 Nov 24, 15:13
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Overall Feedback
The essay provides a balanced view on the topic, with a clear opinion stated. Grammar is mostly accurate with a good range of structures, but some sentences could be more concise. Coherence and cohesion are generally effective, though transitions between ideas could be smoother. The essay addresses the task well, but further examples could enhance the argument. Vocabulary is varied but could be more precise in places.
| Overall score | 7.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 7.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 19 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7 | |
| Lexical resource | 4 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitat at sea and have them relocated in amusement parks for the purpose of people’s recreation.
Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
#Environment
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:317
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
animals
from their original home to aquatic zoos or aquariums is commonly practiced
in modern society. The debate on whether this development is advantageous for the animals
or has more drawbacks is what is in question.There are some benefits to this
practice
and what comes foremost to mind is the act of saving animals
that are endangered or injured in the wild. This will ensure that the species does not go
extinct as it will not be exposed to the dangers of starvation, predators and illnesses in the harsh natural environment. Another benefit could be for educational purposes, as in order for us to learn more about them, a live example is the best specimen to study from. Nowadays
everyone, regardless of age, financial capabilities or physical incapabilities
will be able to see and learn more about creatures in the ocean. This in turn will highlight the possible dangers that humans pose to their natural habitats.Most of the benefits listed are with the
animals
' welfare in mind
but there are also disadvantages which need to be addressed. First
of which is that the creatures might be mistreated and only kept for generating money for the park. Not all establishments are regulated or well funded to ensure their good health and appropriate environment is provided. Secondly, are the cases where wild animals
are taken in to be treated and with exposure to humans, are unable to be reintegrated into their natural habitats. This renders them reliant on human care and defeats the purpose of intervention.In conclusion, the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages as this poses a risk to the future of the ecosystem in bodies of water. To combat this, priority should be
in
ensuring pollution of the ocean by industrial wastes is eliminated, fishing is regulated and minimal human intervention is practised to reintroduce recuperated animals
back to the wild.