IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
18 Jun 24, 17:59
Want to practice?
Try this question
Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question and provides a clear opinion, but it lacks examples and has several grammatical errors. Coherence and cohesion are generally good, but the essay could benefit from more logical flow and better vocabulary usage.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 21 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 3 | |
| Lexical resource | 10 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 5 |
Question
There is an ongoing debate about whether governments should invest more heavily in emerging technology and innovation sectors rather than supporting traditional industries.
Do you agree or disagree that government investment should be redirected from traditional industries to technology and innovation sectors?
#Government Spending
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:217
Paragraphs:4
Word Count Requirement
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
traditional
industries
are being looked over. In my opinion, traditional
industries
play an important role in a country
's identity
, hence why the government should not redirect any investment from it.First of all, each
country
has their own different definition of 'traditional
'. It has it's
own uniqueness derived from our ancestors that contributes our country
's identity
. It is a plus point for us to benefit from it and making it our strength. That is why, by supporting traditional
industries
, we also help our country
to have a deeper value.Furthermore,
people
who work in traditional
industries
are mostly those who don't
have the privilege or skill to contribute in the more modern industry
. So, by taking away the investment, these industries
will be put to and
end, as the people
who got paid there, became jobless. In addition, these industries
have fewer to no machines used to work, which leads to less waste and pollution.In conclusion,
traditional
industries
play a pivotal part in our country
's identity
. It also gave
the opportunity for people
with fewer skill to have a job, thus more sustainable to the environment. That sums up why the government should continue supporting traditional
industries
.