IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
10 Jul 24, 09:27
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The essay addresses the role of education in societal development and the challenges faced, but it contains numerous grammatical errors and lacks coherence. Improved structure and clearer argumentation would enhance readability and overall effectiveness.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 49 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 21 | |
| Lexical resource | 19 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Education is frequently hailed as a cornerstone for societal development, offering individuals the tools to improve their lives and contribute to their communities. However, ensuring access to quality education remains a significant challenge.
Discuss the role of education in societal development and the challenges faced in providing quality education.
#Society
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:348
Paragraphs:3
Paragraph Count Requirement
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
education
in societal development become significant in nowadays
modern era, since the development of technology needs advance skills
. The basic skills
such as language and mathematic supposed to be teached
in the earlier stage of formal
education
: elementary and middle school
. Yet in some develop
countries, the percentage of societies who participate the
earlier formal
education
as mentioned before is still very low
: under 50%. In those countries, the percentage of people
who gain access to university is definitely even lower
, around 2-6%. The level of education
has direct
correlation of
the quality
of human resource in communities, since certain it impacts either skills
and behavior
of the people
. Less
people
who goes
to the universities means less people
are able to work in formal
sector who need particular skills
.The
education
and economy are two entities that cannot be separated one
another. The level of economic welfare in one area impacts the percentage of people
who are able to send their children to attend formal
education
. It happens in vice verca
: the level of education
people
have determine
their proffession
and source of income . Not only talk about
hard skills
, manner
and character are also teached
in formal
school
besides what children get from their parents and environments. The high
rate of criminality is oftenly
found in area
which the economic and education
is
very low
.When we
talk about
formal
education
itself, the quality
of schools
in one area can be different based on the curriculum and facilities they have had. The higher
the quality
, the more pricy the cost to enroll
and pay the tuition fee. The high
quality
of educators who graduated from reputable universities have tendency
to enter the schools
with higher
price since they give them higher
amount of salary. To improve societal development from
education
,
government
should pay attention to some factors and find the solution for example providing scholarship to children from
low
income
family
, giving training for educators via
exchage
programs to developed countries,
work
together with industries to produce
school
facilities, and so on.