IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
10 Jul 24, 09:27
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the role of education in societal development and the challenges faced, but it contains numerous grammatical errors and lacks coherence. Improved structure and clearer argumentation would enhance readability and overall effectiveness.
Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors49
Grammatical range and accuracy21
Lexical resource19
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4
Question
Education is frequently hailed as a cornerstone for societal development, offering individuals the tools to improve their lives and contribute to their communities. However, ensuring access to quality education remains a significant challenge.
Discuss the role of education in societal development and the challenges faced in providing quality education.
#Society
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:348
Paragraphs:3
Paragraph Count Requirement
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
The role of
education
in societal development become significant
in nowadays
modern era, since the development of technology needs advance
skills
. The basic
skills
such as language and mathematic supposed to be
teached
in the earlier stage of
formal
education
: elementary and middle
school
. Yet in some
develop
countries, the percentage of societies who participate
the
earlier
formal
education
as mentioned before is still very
low
: under 50%. In those countries, the percentage of
people
who gain access to university is definitely even
lower
, around 2-6%. The level of
education
has
direct
correlation
of
the
quality
of human resource in communities, since certain it impacts either
skills
and
behavior
of the
people
.
Less
people
who
goes
to the universities means less
people
are able to work in
formal
sector who need particular
skills
.
The
education
and economy are two entities that cannot be separated
one
another. The level of economic welfare in one area impacts the percentage of
people
who are able to send their children to attend
formal
education
. It happens in vice
verca
: the level of
education
people
have
determine
their
proffession
and source of income . Not only
talk about
hard
skills
,
manner
and character are also
teached
in
formal
school
besides what children get from their parents and environments. The
high
rate of criminality is
oftenly
found in
area
which the economic and
education
is
very
low
.
When we
talk about
formal
education
itself, the
quality
of
schools
in one area can be different based on the curriculum and facilities they have had. The
higher
the
quality
, the more pricy the cost to
enroll
and pay the tuition fee. The
high
quality
of educators who graduated from reputable universities have
tendency
to enter the
schools
with
higher
price since they give them
higher
amount of salary.
To improve societal development from
education
,
government
should pay attention to some factors and find the solution for example providing scholarship to children from
low
income
family
, giving training for educators via
exchage
programs to developed countries,
work
together with industries to produce
school
facilities, and so on.

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