IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
03 Aug 24, 14:28
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The essay addresses the question but lacks depth and clarity in its arguments. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, and coherence and cohesion need improvement for better readability.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors21
Grammatical range and accuracy6
Lexical resource8
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Levels of youth crime are increasing rapidly in most cities around the world.
What are the reasons for this, and suggest some solutions.
#Youth Crime
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:291
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
The rate of youth
crime
increased in most countries. The reason to this problem could be from
drugs
, or
depression
. However, the solutions that could help are, tracking
drug
dealers, or creating
many
activities
.
Drugs
are chemicals or substances that change the mood of a person to eventually make him commit a
crime
. This trap has caused
many
youth
to be in a problem. Addiction is ruining the life of
many
, and leading them to get involved in any bad situation. Another
factor
that has an effect on youth is
depression
.
Depression
is the loss of interest in
activities
for a period of time due to having a bad mood or mental disorder. This
factor
focuses mainly on teenagers because most of them enjoy playing video games rather than going out and releasing their energy. Both of these
factors
contribute to an absence of mental illness.
The solution that could be used to decrease the rate of
crime
is tracking
drug
dealers.
Drug
dealers are a group of people that spread substances to ruin
peoples
life. This
factor
can be used by spreading police officers around the city , and
try
to catch them. In addition, creating
many
activities
would prevent
many
from having a bad mood or staying at home for a long period.
Activities
are good for people that want to release energy , so the country should build more amusement parks or some kind of fun
activity
that would let them enjoy going to every week.
In conclusion,
Drug
addiction and
depression
are the reasons why
crime
rate has increased because both contribute to the same
problem
which is mental illness. Therefore, I think that we should begin implementing those solutions in order to make this world a safe place.