IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
07 Aug 24, 21:59
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task but has several grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Vocabulary usage is adequate but could be more varied, and the ideas need better development and logical flow for higher clarity and impact.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 6.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 24 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 1 | |
| Lexical resource | 15 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
The fast food industry has grown dramatically worldwide, raising concerns about its health impacts.
What are the problems associated with the rising consumption of fast food, and what solutions can be implemented to mitigate these issues?
#Food
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:329
Paragraphs:5
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
fast
food
industry has sparked significant concerns regarding its effects on health.In my opinion, I agree that
unhealthy
food
, such as fast
food
, constributes
to poor/decreasing health. However, I also believe that sedentary lifestyle or activity and poorer life choices can lead to an unhealthier life.Nevertheless, and regardless of
people
knowing healthy
warnings, the number of people
eating unhealthier
meals
is incrising
. Regular consumption of unhealthy
foods
, from fast
food
chains/ restaurants, do have it's
price on our overall health, and, if not consumed in moderation, can lead to more aggravating health problems or diseases. Obesity and cardiac disease are typical examples that can be faced by people
who regularly consume foods
enveloped in fat and sugar content.Taking into account the population of the United States, a significant portion of citizens are overweight and at risk of serious health issues or death. Consequently, many resort to extreme measures like weight loss camps, urgent surgeries, or extreme diets. Despite knowing the health risks,
people
often choose fast
food
because it is more accessible, convenient, and cheaper, and because it tastes better than healthier
options. This trend is mirrored in the UK, where 70% of working people
buy ready-made meals
for convenience, and among college students, who opt for unhealthy
meals
due to their tight budgets. To mitigate the impact of fast
food
, it would be ideal to increase the prices of unhealthy
foods
, make healthier
options more affordable, reduce fat and oil in fast
food
, and encourage the cultivation of fresh fruits and vegetables.In conclusion, the consumption of
fast
food
meals
can have a detrimental impact on our overall physical health, which should be assisted and prevented before serious health problems or death arrise
. It is, therefore, crucial to mantain
a healthier
diet with regular physical exercise and regular doctor visits or check-ups, to make sure that we continue to trive
into a longer happier life.