IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6
IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
10 Aug 24, 12:17
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question and provides a clear opinion, but it has several grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Vocabulary usage is adequate but could be more varied, and the development of ideas needs more depth and clarity.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 30 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 13 | |
| Lexical resource | 10 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them.
In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?
#Entertainment
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:349
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
The rapid advancement of platforms online has profoundly impacted various aspects of our daily lives. Many people consider that
video
games
is
a form of entertainment , or a practical tool in studies
regardless of age. While some argue that these are detrimental to people. I believe that the disadvantages far outweigh the benefits. This essay will discuss
the positive impacts of online game
, such as entertainment value and problem
solving
, as well as the potential downsides, including addiction to the games
and social
isolation.One of the most significant benefits of online
games
are
the ability to make us enjoy the moment. Some games
are accessible freely. We can choose variety
of our favourite games
in
the computers and handphones
at the expense of our own convenience. For instance, during school holidays, most parents will allow children to play
video
games
for hours as a reward for studying hard in school. This may lead to motivation and create happiness during their term break. Another benefit is that a player may increase problem
soving
skills
and improve incredibly due to the different ranks they need to pass
which can lead to greater problem
solving
skills
that may use
in life.There are two perceived disadvantages that are associated with
playing
video
games
. One is that a person may struggle to stop playing
. Aiming to win the game
, can be satisfying. This may lead to addiction that a person has nothing else to do other than playing
and thus may get a poor lifestyle. Another factor is social
isolation. An individual who spends long hours online may get a great adverse on his social
skills
. Being always alone can make someone feel isolated and thus a decline of friends in their environment.In conclusion, In this essay I argued that
playing
video
games
provides entertainment fin our lives and enhance
our problem
solving
skills
while in results it may impose poorer lifestyle such as addiction and social
isolation. Personally, I prefer not to play
games
as it may be hard for me to stop it once I get addicted to it.