IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
12 Nov 24, 08:36
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides and providing an opinion, but lacks depth in idea development and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but contain errors and limited range, affecting coherence and cohesion.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors31
Grammatical range and accuracy9
Lexical resource14
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Some people think that the government should be responsible for crime prevention, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the individual to protect themselves.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
#Criminal Justice
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:273
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
The question
over
crime
prevention is a topic of ongoing debate. Some believe that responsibility of preventing
crime
solely relies on
government
while others argue it should be taken care by
individuals
itself. Both
prespectives
have valid points worth exploring.
On one
hand
, proponents argue that
government
is responsible for people's safety and welfare. They possess greater power and authority to deal with
crimes
occuring
in the society and take preventive action
againts
criminals.
Government
establishing rules and strict punishments, can discourage criminals to commit sinful actions as they would be aware of the consequences which may arise, affecting both personal and social
live
.
On the other
hand
, opponents argue that
individuals
should be responsible enough to keep safety and save itself
againts
crime
. Mishappening can occur at any place and
time, therefore,
individual could help themselves by carrying some preventive items such as pepper spray or devices like
noise makers
, which aids in self
defense
and protection. This phenomenon not only
help
alert other
individuals
but also forces
government
authorities to provide higher security and safety in the area.
Missing Linking Devices
In my opinion, a balanced approach, where
government
and bodies of
individuals
work
hand
in
hand
to combat
crimes
is essential for the prosperity and
well being
of people. It is not the sole responsibility of the
goverment
nor the
individual
themselves to have full protection against
crime
.
In conclusion, while
government
set
rules,regulations and punishments
towards
criminals,
individuals
support is imperative for minimizing the significant amount of
crimes
occuring
globally. Thus, it is crucial to have a safe and sound environment for the
well being
of each and every
individual
.

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