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IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5

7.5
Overall Score
20 Apr 25, 14:11
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by presenting a clear argument against economic development's advantages, with a good range of vocabulary and complex structures. However, it could improve coherence by better linking ideas and providing more specific examples to support claims.
Overall score7.5
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors13
Grammatical range and accuracy1
Lexical resource6
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response3

Writing Task

#Society
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Many countries aim to improve their living standard by economic development, but some important social values are lost as a result.
Do you think the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

Submitted Answer

Words333|Paragraphs4
English:UK English
Global Issues:
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
The majority of countries all over the world resort to
economic
growth as the key driver of better living standards for their citizens. However, this could result in a loss of numerous cherished social
values
. This essay will delve into both the advantages and disadvantages of
economic
development, ultimately arguing that its detrimental impacts overshadow the benefits offered.
The progression of the economy often equates to increased prosperity for individuals, allowing for a better quality of life. With greater financial resources at their disposal, people can not only
fulfill
their basic needs like food and shelter but also indulge in luxuries such as travel and extravagant lifestyles. However, this
economic
advancement can exert adverse effects, particularly on cultural and traditional
values
, with the institution of the family being one of the most impacted. As individuals strive for financial success, they often find themselves entangled in the demands of a fiercely competitive market, sacrificing precious time with their loved ones. Rather than returning home after work to spend meaningful moments with family, many now find themselves working late hours at the office or engrossed in tasks even upon returning home, straining familial bonds. Consequently, despite financial security, children of dual-income households may suffer from neglect, lacking the love and attention they require, while spouses struggle to find quality time amidst busy schedules.
As economies grow and societies prosper, there is often a simultaneous rise in materialism and a decline in social
values
. This phenomenon occurs as people become more focused on acquiring material possessions, equating wealth with success and happiness. Consequently, there can be a shift away from prioritizing community, empathy, and ethical
behavior
. Instead, individuals may become more
self-centered
, valuing personal gain over collective well-being.
In conclusion, In conclusion, while
economic
development may superficially promise enhanced living standards, it exacts a heavy toll on society's foundational
values
. The pursuit of wealth can strain familial bonds, promote materialism over community, and exacerbate inequalities, ultimately overshadowing the benefits of
economic
development.

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