IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7
7.0
Overall Score
18 Oct 24, 12:18
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Overall Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the task with a clear opinion and relevant examples, though the argument could be more deeply developed. Grammar and vocabulary are used accurately, but there is room for more complex structures and varied expressions.
| Overall score | 7.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 8.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 15 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 1 | |
| Lexical resource | 8 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 3 |
Question
The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society they live in.
To what extent do you agree and disagree?
#Entertainment
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:350
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
The increasing availability of entertainment, such as
video
games
on handheld
devices
, has sparked considerable debate. While some individuals
believe that these forms of entertainment are harmless, others argue that they have detrimental effects on both individuals
and society. In my view, I partially agree with the notion that video
games
on handheld
devices
can be harmful due to their potential negative impacts on health and social
interactions, although they also offer some benefits when used responsibly.To begin with, excessive use of
handheld
devices
for gaming
can lead to various health issues. Many individuals
spend prolonged hours glued to their screens, which can result in eye strain, headaches, and poor posture. For instance, studies have shown that children who play video
games
for extended periods are more likely to develop sedentary lifestyles, which can contribute to obesity and other health concerns.Moreover, the
social
impact of handheld
gaming
cannot be overlooked. Excessive gaming
can lead to social
isolation, as individuals
might prioritize virtual interactions over real-life relationships. For example, some teenagers may prefer playing online games
rather than spending time with their family or friends, which can weaken their social
bonds and communication skills. This negatively affects society as a whole, as people become less engaged in their communities and social
cohesion deteriorates.However, it is important to acknowledge that
handheld
gaming
can have positive aspects when used in moderation. Video
games
can offer a form of relaxation and entertainment, as well as improve cognitive skills such as problem-solving and hand-eye coordination. For instance, certain educational games
can aid in mental development and provide stress relief after a long day. Therefore, the harmful effects are not inevitable if individuals
regulate their gaming
time and maintain a balance with other activities.In conclusion, while
video
games
on handheld
devices
can be harmful to individuals
’ health and social
interactions, they can also offer some benefits when used responsibly. It is essential for individuals
to strike a balance between gaming
and other activities to ensure that the negative effects are minimized, both on a personal level and within society.