IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6.5

6.5
Overall Score
08 Jul 24, 16:51
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The essay provides a balanced view on the effectiveness of traditional medicine compared to modern medicine, with clear arguments and examples. However, there are some grammatical errors and minor issues with coherence and cohesion that could be improved for a higher score.

Overall score6.5
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors21
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource9
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Traditional medicine has been used for thousands of years in various cultures and continues to be popular in many parts of the world. Some people argue that traditional methods are often as effective as modern medical approaches.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with the view that traditional medicine can be as effective as modern medicine?
#Health
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:348
Paragraphs:7
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
The
effection
of
traditional
medicine
compared to
modern
medicine
is a complex and nuanced topic. While
traditional
medicine
has been
practiced
for millennia and continues to be widely used, its effectiveness can
very
greatly
depending
on the specific method they used.
Firstly,
traditional
medicine
encompasses a wide range of
practices
, including herbal remedies, acupuncture, massage therapy, and various cultural healing rituals. These
practices
often derive from centuries of empirical observation and have been refined over time to treat
a variety of
ailments. In some cases, these
traditional
methods have shown promising results, especially in managing chronic conditions or promoting overall wellness.
On the other hand,
modern
medicine
is based on rigorous
scientific
research, clinical trials, and evidence-based
practice
. It includes pharmaceutical drugs, surgical procedures, advanced diagnostic techniques, and technologies that have revolutionized medical care. The efficacy of
modern
medicine
is supported by robust
scientific
data, which allows for precise diagnosis, targeted treatment, and monitoring of patient outcomes.
However, the effectiveness of
traditional
medicine
can vary widely. Some
traditional
remedies have shown promising results in clinical studies and are incorporated into
modern
medical
practices
. For example, certain herbal
medicines
have been found to have therapeutic benefits, leading to the development of pharmaceutical drugs derived from natural compounds.
But
traditional
medicine
also faces challenges. Concerns include lack of standardization, inconsistent quality control,
Missing Linking Devices
potential for adverse effects from poorly understood ingredients, and limited
scientific
validation for many
practices
. These factors underscore the importance of integrating
traditional
medicine
into a framework where efficacy and safety are rigorously evaluated.
in conclusion, while
traditional
medicine
can offer valuable insights and treatments, its effectiveness compared to
modern
medicine
varies depending on the condition and the specific treatment in question. Both
traditional
and
modern
approaches have their strengths and limitations. Integrative
medicine
, which combines the best of both worlds while ensuring safety and efficacy through
scientific
scrutiny, holds promise for advancing healthcare globally. Therefore, rather than viewing them as opposing forces, a synergistic approach that respects and integrates the strengths of both
traditional
and
modern
medicine
may provide the most comprehensive care for patients worldwide.