IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5
IELTS Essay Sample Band 5
5.0
Overall Score
29 Jul 24, 19:32
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the question but lacks depth and clarity in its arguments. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, with several errors affecting readability and coherence. More structured development of ideas and better cohesion are needed.
| Overall score | 5.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 5.0 |
| Total Errors | 25 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 9 | |
| Lexical resource | 8 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 4 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Violent content in movies, video games, and other forms of entertainment is often criticized for its potential negative effects on viewers, especially young audiences.
What problems might arise from exposure to violent content in entertainment, and what measures can be taken to address these issues?
#Entertainment
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:296
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
, because
it has negative impact on viewers, particularly minors. When children
expose
to violent content
, they can imitate their actions
and become a bad person. So the solution for this are strict actions
of the government as well as educating youngsters.New channels and programmes consist of some danger scenes that affect juveniles in a negative
way
which make the kids follow them. As they watch those characters in movies or video game, minors are unaware of the consequences of psychological violence because they were small and had not gotten
any experience yet. For example, famous cartoons like Tom and Jerry have some illegal
content
such as murder scenes that have been banned from
Youtube
but many individuals still post this which
children
watch and copy the same thing by killing off their own family.
Furthermore, when they see characters solving problems with violence, they might think it's
a good way to deal with their own issues and
they even feel being encouraged by this.The most viable solution
are
the implementation of stricter policies for movies, video games and other forms of entertainment to do age ratings in order for parents can make informed choices about what their children
watch or play. Government should also raise the minors' awareness about these violent content
by creating some campaigns to the school that approach to all children
and use it as a tool to check the youngsters mental healthIn conclusion, in order to prevent
those violent
content
from affecting individuals's
mind and make them copying the actions
, it can be limited by government actions
as well as raise awareness for children