IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
24 Jun 24, 15:35
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The essay addresses the question but has several grammatical errors and lacks clear examples. Coherence and cohesion are adequate, but the essay could benefit from better organization and more varied vocabulary.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors39
Grammatical range and accuracy4
Lexical resource27
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
Some argue that a vegetarian diet leads to better overall health, while others believe that including meat in the diet is essential for providing certain nutrients.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
#Health
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:337
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
The debate over
following
a vegetarian
diet
leads to a
better
overall
health while some believes that
including
meat
in their
diet
provides
essential
nutrients required for human
body
to function. People
following
vegetarian diet argues that they
promotes
better
overall
health due to
lower
risks
of heart diseases and certain types of cancer. On the other
hand
including
meat
in the helps to get nutritional benefits provided from animal products.
Firstly talking about
following
a vegetarian
diet
, vegetarian diet are typically high in
fiber
, vitamins and
phythonutrients
that are found in vegetables, fruits and whole grains. Moreover, they often have
lower
level of saturated fat and cholesterol, which are linked to cardiovascular problems. It
also
helps
in weight management of a person because
plant
based
diets
are usually
lower
in calories which supports in healthy weight loss and
maintanance
when combined with physical activities. Vegetarian
diet
also
reduceses
risk
of digestive disorder, especially it
promotes
healthy digestion and can reduce
risk
of constipation and other digestive disorder.
Now talking about does
including
meat
in
diet
leads to
better
overall
health, adding
meat
in our
diet
helps
us to get
essential
nutrients such as zinc,iron and vitamins. These nutritions are
important
for
functining
our
body
including
wounds healing , nerve function and red blood cell production.
Meat
are
also
rich in proteins which
helps
in building and maintaining muscle mass, especially
important
for athletes,older adults and those recovering from illness or injury,
also
iron and zinc found in
meat
are
important
for brain health.
In my opinion, a balanced
diet
that
includes
both
plant
based
foods and a moderate amount of
meat
is ideal for most people. This approach combines the benefits of vegetarian such as high
fiber
intake and
low
saturated fat with the nutritional advantages of
meat
consumption.It is
essential
to focus on the quality and source of both
plant
and animal food. This balance
diet
can
help
to
fulfill
the required nutrition for the
body
to
promote
optimal health and
well being
.