IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
27 Jul 24, 01:58
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The essay addresses both sides of the argument and provides a personal opinion, but it contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are generally maintained, but the essay could benefit from clearer transitions and more precise vocabulary.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors46
Grammatical range and accuracy27
Lexical resource12
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important.
Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
#Work
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:354
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
The arrival of modern culture has ushered in sea changes in the ways people
thinks
. Some people
thinks
that acquiring studies at university level is
foremost
option to secure finest occupation,
where as
few
individuals
believes
that holding
experience
and growing smooth
skills
is vital. This essay intends to justify both views before embarking to any conclusion in upcoming paragraphs.
One group of people favour, that having
an
university degree is the
best
in order to
get
a stable
job
, as it makes that
person
to utilize it
, when
it comes to professional enhancement. Meaning that, by studying to an advance level provides all the needed information regarding that subject and
those
learnings can
leads
to having a better
job
.
It's
a fact that, the more a
person
is educated, the more that
individual
have
in-depth knowledge, helping to secure
the a
job
at the
best
position. To exemplify, when a
person
applied
to
a
job
with a masters the chances of
getting
job
is higher, than the other
person
who
have
a basic level of education. Thus, It is vivid from the above
explaination
, having
higher
degree of education plays a major impact
for
getting
a better
job
.
On the other hand, some
individuals
favour that, gaining
experience
and soft
skills
is important for having an elite
job
. Making markable
experience
in
a
skills
makes the
person
to master it. Which clarifies that,
individual
with
experience
will acquire sufficient knowledge to carry out tasks efficiently. It is factual, an
individual
's enhanced professional
skills
increases the chances of hitting a top place in the
job
.
Example
,
probability
of
getting
the finest position is more for a
person
with the
experinece
of years, rather than a
person
who just started. Therefore, it is clear that having a
good
experience
is
must
for a
job
From the above discussion, it is justified, that both notions have
reason
for their views and neither of them seems
dominating
other
. However, in my opinion, both situations are equally responsible and must for
getting
the
best
occupation
, because
experience
without knowledge is worthless and so
vice-versa
.