IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7

IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

7.0
Overall Score
06 Aug 24, 06:19
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Overall Feedback

The essay is well-structured and addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of youth sports effectively. It demonstrates a strong command of grammar and vocabulary, though the development of ideas could be more detailed in places.

Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource7.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors30
Grammatical range and accuracy1
Lexical resource7
Coherence & cohesion18
Task response4
Question
Engaging in sports activities is commonly suggested for the youth to promote health, discipline, and teamwork. However, it also presents certain challenges and pressures.
Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of children participating in sports from a young age.
#Sport
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:306
Paragraphs:15
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
The Double-Edged Sword of
Youth Sports
Youth sports have long been hailed as a cornerstone of
child
development, fostering
physical
fitness, discipline, and teamwork. While these benefits are undeniable,
it's
crucial to acknowledge the potential drawbacks that can arise from early sports involvement.
Missing Linking Devices
Advantages of Youth Sports
Missing Linking Devices
Physical Health: Regular
physical
activity
helps
children
develop strength, endurance, flexibility, and coordination. It reduces the risk of obesity and associated health problems.
Missing Linking Devices
Mental Health: Sports can boost self-esteem, confidence, and resilience.
Physical
exertion releases endorphins, which can
help
alleviate stress and anxiety.
Missing Linking Devices
Social Skills: Team sports teach
children
the importance of cooperation, communication, and respect for others. They learn to win and lose gracefully.
Missing Linking Devices
Discipline and Time Management: Sports
instill
a sense of discipline, commitment, and responsibility.
Children
learn to balance sports with academics and other activities.
Missing Linking Devices
Character Building: Overcoming challenges, setting goals, and achieving them can
help
children
develop perseverance, determination, and a strong work ethic.
Missing Linking Devices
Disadvantages of Youth Sports
Missing Linking Devices
Pressure and Burnout: Excessive pressure to win can lead to burnout,
physical
injuries, and mental health issues.
Missing Linking Devices
Unrealistic Expectations: Parents and coaches may have unrealistic expectations, which can create a toxic environment and harm the
child
's self-esteem.
Missing Linking Devices
Injuries: The risk of injuries, both acute and overuse, is higher for young athletes.
Missing Linking Devices
Academic Neglect: Overemphasis on sports can negatively impact a
child
's academic performance.
Loss of Childhood:
Children
may miss out on other important developmental activities, such as free play and exploration.
I
t's
essential to strike a balance between the benefits and drawbacks of youth sports. Parents and coaches should prioritize the
child
's overall well-being, focusing on enjoyment, skill development, and fair play. By creating a positive and supportive environment, we can
help
children
reap the rewards of sports participation without compromising their
physical
, mental, or emotional health. I