IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6
6.0
Overall Score
07 Oct 24, 10:12
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Overall Feedback
The essay addresses the task by discussing both positive and negative impacts of technology, but lacks depth in idea development and examples. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate, though there are some errors and limited range, affecting coherence and cohesion.
| Overall score | 6.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 29 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 11 | |
| Lexical resource | 8 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Technological advancement has been rapid in recent decades, deeply influencing various aspects of societies globally. While technology has enabled significant progress in areas such as communication, healthcare, and education, it has also introduced challenges such as privacy concerns, job displacement, and increased social isolation.
Discuss both the positive and negative impacts of technological advancement on societies.
#Development
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:345
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
Technology
has led the human race to transcend from the primitive age to the modern age.Humans
are social animals that require communication in their day to day
lives. Humans
have also
a need for education as well
and not to mention the healthcare facilities. Rapid improvements in the technological aspects of these fields has undoubtedly led to the betterment of the quality of life for humans
. Thanks to technology
, people can now connect with anyone on the globe through the internet in a matter of seconds. Doctors previously did not have complete knowledge
or the resources to find the cure to different ailments. Technological improvements in the field of healthcare has
had a significant amount of impact on humanity. Doctors now have extensive and ever increasing
knowledge
and resources about almost every disease known to man. As a result of the technological advancement, the human population has boomed and the mortality rate is at an all time
low. Education previously was only limited to books and the knowledge
the teacher had. Students
as a result, only had basic knowledge
available to them. Technology
made the classroom connect with the world.While
technology
has had significant improvements in the given fields, one cannot deny the negative impacts it has caused on privacy of the people, jobs that it has taken over, and the addiction that has led to people becoming isolated from society.
The internet
which is a great gateway to knowledge
also has a dark side to it. Innocent users can have their data stolen from them without their knowledge
. Naive users can be decieved
to give away their sensitive information like card or bank details, phone numbers, location
which can then be used for a malicious activity hampering the well being
of the users. Technology
has a role to displace
exisiting
jobs of humans
. While technology
makes it easier for humanity by doing the work, they also take over jobs.Missing Linking Devices
Technology
has both positive and negative sides to it. Humanity must find a way to coexist with technology
without it hampering humankind itself.