IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7.5

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7.5

7.5
Overall Score
09 Oct 24, 08:23
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a balanced discussion of both positive and negative impacts of technology. It demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures, though further development of ideas and examples could enhance coherence and cohesion.
Overall score7.5
Grammatical range and accuracy9.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors13
Grammatical range and accuracy0
Lexical resource6
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response3
Question
Technological advancement has been rapid in recent decades, deeply influencing various aspects of societies globally. While technology has enabled significant progress in areas such as communication, healthcare, and education, it has also introduced challenges such as privacy concerns, job displacement, and increased social isolation.
Discuss both the positive and negative impacts of technological advancement on societies.
#Development
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:340
Paragraphs:6
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Technological advancements have transformed societies in various ways, bringing both benefits and drawbacks. This essay will explore both sides of the impact on modern society.
On the positive side,
technology
has significantly enhanced global communication. The rise of instant messaging, video calls, and
social
media platforms has
made
it easier for
people
to stay connected, bridging the gap between friends, families, and business associates worldwide. This ease of communication has improved both personal relationships and global business collaboration. Moreover, in healthcare, modern equipment and digital health records have improved diagnostic accuracy, treatment efficiency, and patient management. For example, telemedicine allows doctors to reach patients in remote areas, which was previously difficult, ensuring better healthcare accessibility.
In education,
technology
has
made
a profound impact by providing digital learning platforms,
making
education more accessible to
people
in different parts of the world. This transformation has created an inclusive learning environment, where students can learn at their own pace, overcoming barriers like location and cost. As a result,
technology
is empowering individuals with diverse educational opportunities that were not available before.
However, these advancements have introduced several challenges. One primary issue is the loss of privacy. With the growing use of digital platforms, personal data is often collected without adequate security, leading to concerns over surveillance and identity theft. The rapid spread of personal information has
made
people
vulnerable to misuse, resulting in anxiety and distrust.
Additionally, the integration of automation and artificial intelligence has caused widespread job displacement, especially in industries relying on routine manual
labor
. This has led to unemployment, economic instability, and a widening gap between skilled and unskilled workers. Furthermore, while
technology
connects
people
virtually, it can reduce real-life
social
interactions, causing
social
isolation and impacting mental health, particularly among younger generations who spend excessive time online.
In conclusion, while technological advancements have enhanced communication, healthcare, and education, they have also posed challenges like privacy invasion, job loss, and
social
disconnect. Societies must find ways to balance these effects to maximize benefits and minimize harm for overall progress.

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