IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 7

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 7

7.0
Overall Score
18 Oct 24, 12:21
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Overall Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by presenting a balanced view on the impact of video games, with a clear opinion. It demonstrates good coherence and cohesion, though some ideas could be more deeply developed, and the vocabulary is varied but could be more precise.
Overall score7.0
Grammatical range and accuracy8.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion7.0
Task response7.0
Total Errors17
Grammatical range and accuracy1
Lexical resource8
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response3
Question
The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices are harmful to individuals and to the society they live in.
To what extent do you agree and disagree?
#Entertainment
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:355
Paragraphs:5
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Sure!
Here’s a response structured like an IELTS Writing Task 2 essay:
The availability of entertainment such as
video
games
on handheld devices has sparked a significant debate regarding its impact on
individuals
and society. While some argue that these
games
are harmful, I believe that they can also provide considerable benefits.
On one hand, there are several reasons why
video
games
might be viewed as harmful. First, excessive
gaming
can lead to addiction, where
individuals
spend an inordinate amount of time playing
games
at the expense of their physical health. This sedentary
behavior
can contribute to obesity and related health issues. Furthermore, many
games
involve violent content, which some studies suggest may desensitize players to violence and foster aggressive
behavior
, particularly among younger audiences. This potential for increased aggression can have detrimental effects on societal norms and
behavior
. Finally, excessive
gaming
can result in social isolation. While some may argue that online interactions can substitute for real-life friendships, they often lack the depth and quality of face-to-face communication, which is crucial for developing interpersonal skills and maintaining healthy relationships.
On the other hand, it is important to recognize the positive aspects of
video
gaming
. Firstly, many
video
games
promote cognitive skills such as problem-solving, critical thinking, and strategic planning.
Games
often require players to navigate complex challenges, which can enhance their mental agility and decision-making abilities. Secondly,
video
games
can serve as a valuable source of stress relief and relaxation. For many
individuals
, playing
games
is a way to unwind and escape the pressures of daily life. Lastly, the social aspect of
gaming
cannot be overlooked. Multiplayer
games
can foster a sense of community and teamwork, allowing
individuals
to build friendships and connections with people from diverse backgrounds, thus promoting social interaction.
In conclusion, while there are valid concerns regarding the potential harms of handheld
video
games
, it is equally important to consider their benefits. The key lies in moderation and responsible
gaming
. By encouraging healthy
gaming
habits,
individuals
can enjoy the advantages of this form of entertainment while minimizing its negative impacts on their lives and society.

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