IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5

5.5
Overall Score
12 Jul 24, 10:34
Want to practice?
Try this question

Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are moderate, with some logical flow issues. Lexical resource is adequate but could be more varied and precise.

Overall score5.5
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors33
Grammatical range and accuracy14
Lexical resource10
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4
Question
Tourism can disrupt local wildlife and their habitats, leading to long-term ecological consequences.
What impact does tourism have on local wildlife and what measures can be taken to protect them?
#Tourism
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:253
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
Stunning scenery and uniqueness of
wildlife
attract people to witness the view the masterpiece in person. A lot of
tourism
spots are constructed to
accomodate
people's curiosity and interest. At a viewpoint,
tourism
can bring many advantages, from the promotion of local biodiversity to the awareness and fundraising to converse the forest. This essay will shed a light
about
tourism
negative impact on
wildlife
and recommend some solutions to combat the risk.
Many places gain their economy through
tourism
business, however,
to develop
the place to fit the business can cause many withdraws.
Dor
example, To facilitate tourists, roads are paved and building are built. These activities use a land that
acquire
their habitat. Moreover, pollution is also one of the environment
concern
. The noise from
human's appliances
, waste, and contamination affected the health of these creatures.
Missing Linking Devices
These disruptive behaviours shall be managed to protect the flora and fauna. The pivot measure that shall be taken is having
well designed
area planning that can minimize forest degradation. Allocation of premises and roads shall consider various factors to combat violation to the
wildlife
. Other than that,
government
shall enact strict regulation either
to
the
developer
or
to
the tourist. The
stricker
law will foster discipline and prudent act of the
visitor
and the tourist operator.
in conclusion, the promotion to conserve the nature shall be enforced.
Stricker
regulation and responsible
tourism
practice will create more
ecofriendly
.
By
the end of the day,
wildlife
is
national
treasure that shall be protected from harm.