IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
27 Jun 24, 11:00
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The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary need improvement, and ideas should be more logically developed and supported with examples.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors36
Grammatical range and accuracy11
Lexical resource18
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Despite the known benefits of physical activities, many educational institutions struggle to adequately promote sports among students.
What problems do schools face in promoting sports, and how can these be addressed?
#Sport
#Problem / Solution
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:272
Paragraphs:5
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Sport is
a physical activities
established
inadvance
for
students
experience worldwide. However, various individuals
is
not willing to do sport which provide new
challanges
as school or, educational institution face issues on engaging typical
student
on their motive. This essay will include on why this occasion might occur and path to
facillitate
the problem such as, compact schedule
students
currently have on their personal educational life, or waste their limited time on
online
games
.
Educational life has been crucial for
youngsters
and create
challanges
to
accomodate
both at the same period. Lisa, a
student
counselor
, stated that
highschoolers
has their though years
applaying
to top university. Therefore, they prefer
prioritize
their future
education
which requires high effort.
Studying is a key to reach top university. However, numerous of young generation has been addicted to
online
games
. This statement has been fully justified throughout
wikipedia
as 80% of teenagers play mobile
games
. Moreover, these action has leads to cautious habits as sports maintain to be their second priority.
As education and
online
game
addiction maintain as a cause, sports should be numerously promoted throughout developing school sports
club
. This method could be
sucessful
thoughout
sports certificate that could
facillitate
students
on applying world best education aside from report scores. In additional,
school
could encourage their
students
throughout
setting up seminars
regard
the benefits of exercising as they could improve
teens
well being
and strength. These procedures could highly provide advantages for learners.
As a conclusion, sport might be less interesting due to
students
prioritize studying among exercising and the rise of young
online
game
players. Therefore, we should promote teenagers of advantage perspective.