IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 6

IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
10 Oct 24, 14:02
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the task but lacks depth in idea development and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary are adequate but could benefit from more variety and precision.
Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors22
Grammatical range and accuracy8
Lexical resource6
Coherence & cohesion4
Task response4
Question
In many countries, governments spend significant resources on promoting national culture through festivals, museums, and public television programs.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of governments promoting national culture?
#Culture
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:278
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Some
people
suggest that governments, in many
countries
, investing remarkable resources in
ordinating
national
culture
in various ways
such as
festivals, exhibitions and digital entertainment has no benefits. I believe that despite some disadvantages, there are more factors that have numerous positive impacts result from promoting
national
culture
.
The amount of money spent on organizing festivals or creating new museums could be used for more serious needs
such as
enough hospitals and schools in all area of the
country
. The average health and education of
whole
population is much more important than
promotion of the
culture
. For example, prioritizing health-care for elderly
people
is a reasonable policy since the ones who know history and traditions are able to educate youths. Moreover, implementing policies for
health
of elderly
people
can indeed lead to better promotion of
culture
. In addition, the quality of education for young
people
is rooted from knowledge accessibility and the future of the
country
depends on it.
Although there are some disadvantages of it, still even more advantages that
is
worth considering are derived,
such as
development of tourism or conventional wealth of the
country
. For instance, investing more in promoting
national
culture
must attract significant number of tourists from other
countries
. Furthermore, this can even lead to thriving economy of the
country
. Additionally, the policy for promotion of the
national
culture
from
government
is possibly
better
method to preserve
national
convention. Moreover, as more
people
becomes
aware of their own traditional
culture
, the whole status of
national
culture
gets better.
In conclusion, while there are both setbacks of promoting
national
culture
, there are still many promising possibilities that we need to take into account.

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