IELTS Essay Checker - Sample Band 5.5
IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5.5 | IELTS Essay Sample Band 5.5
5.5
Overall Score
29 Sept 24, 14:30
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Overall Feedback
The essay provides a clear opinion and relevant examples but suffers from numerous grammatical errors and lacks coherence in some parts. Improved sentence structure and better organization of ideas would enhance readability and overall effectiveness.
| Overall score | 5.5 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 5.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 5.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 5.0 | |
| Task response | 6.0 |
| Total Errors | 36 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7 | |
| Lexical resource | 19 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 6 | |
| Task response | 4 |
Question
Some believe that imposing harsher punishments on youth offenders will deter them and others from committing crimes.
Do you agree or disagree that harsher punishments for youth offenders are effective in reducing youth crime?
#Youth Crime
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:351
Paragraphs:2
Paragraph Count Requirement
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
people
believe that imposing harser
punishment
on youth
offenders
will only deter them from and other from comitting
future crimes
. I disagree with this statement, despite the punishment
to be seemingly effective, it does not necessarily affect other youth
offenders
from comitting
any crimes
. Many people
have their own reason to commit
a crime
, some do it due to their current unpleasant financial situation that leads them to comitting
crime
such as stealing
. While it is true that stealing
cannot be justified, for some people
that
were faced in poverty, it is a way for them to stay alive. For example
in USA
, there are lots of young mother that were just reaching early adulthood but not all of them can afford the needs for their baby. This is what lead
them to stealing
in order to make sure that her baby is well-fed and not starved to death.For such case like this, it is not compulsory for authorities to impose a harsher
punishment
for the young mothers
as they were merely attempting to survive. Instead of imposing harsher
punishment
for
youth
offenders
, it is better to advise them about the weight of
crimes
that they have
comitted
and what encourage them to
commit
it or give them a session of
counseling
as a warning, their brain
are
still developing, if they were faced with traumatic experience on their past it might lead to these teens to
commit
bigger
crimes
later on the future due to grunge of the past.
However, if the youth
offenders
remain persistent of comitting
those crimes
despite being advised and told not to, then punishment
is the solution. The level of the
crime
committed
also had to be put into the consideration, if the
crime
that he/she
comitted
were reasonable
crimes
such as
stealing
in the supermarket for food and milk, then there is no need to be
proceed
into the court.
Similarly, if the severity of the crime
that the youth
offenders
commit
were harming other's people
life, it is appropriate to take action against the offenders
for their wrongdoings.