IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 6

IELTS Essay Sample Band 6

6.0
Overall Score
21 Jul 24, 15:48
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Overall Feedback

The essay addresses the question but lacks depth in discussing both views equally. There are several grammatical errors and issues with punctuation, and the vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive.

Overall score6.0
Grammatical range and accuracy6.0
Lexical resource6.0
Coherence & cohesion6.0
Task response6.0
Total Errors23
Grammatical range and accuracy3
Lexical resource9
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response6
Question
While both exercise and diet are crucial for good health, opinions differ regarding which has a more significant impact on overall wellness.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
#Health
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:231
Paragraphs:4
Word Count Requirement
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Some people believe that a good diet has a more significant impact on good health, as it reduces the risk of health complications. However, some people believe that
excercise
is fundamental for keeping
healthy
, as it supports weight loss, and aids good mental health.
This essay discusses
how
healthy
eating and regular
excercise
equally contribute to
overall
wellness.
Firstly, exercise is essential for maintaining
healthy
body weight, resulting in the prevention of health complications
such
as
, obesity, and, heart attacks. Moreover, regular exercise releases the stress
hormone
which in turn leads to improved mental health outcomes. For example, I have a demanding job as a caseworker, so I ensure to practice self-care, through running three days a week.
Moreover, I am in my late
thirtees
, so it is imperative that I eat
healthy
to maintain my
overall
health. Medical research has revealed that,
healthy
food has many health benefits,
such
as
, the prevention of diseases,
such
as
,
cholestrol
and diabetes. Additionally,
healthy
eating, can reverse the effects of these diseases. For example, one may be advised by their doctor to make certain adjustments to their diet by choosing
healthier
options,
such
as
, eating vegetables
insetad
of starch, to lower their
cholestrol
levels.
In conclusion, a combination of a
healthy
diet and exercise contribute to
overall
wellness. Therefore, the general population needs to embrace both strategies in order to stay
healthy
.