IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
27 Jun 24, 21:43
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The essay addresses the question but lacks clarity and coherence. Grammar and vocabulary usage are basic, with several errors affecting readability and cohesion. More structured arguments and examples are needed for a higher score.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy5.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors30
Grammatical range and accuracy9
Lexical resource14
Coherence & cohesion3
Task response4
Question
Some people believe that what children watch on television influences their behaviour. Others say that the amount of time spent watching television influences their behaviour.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
#Media & Advertising
#Discussion
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:330
Paragraphs:4
Formality
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Thesis Statement
Some people argue that
watching
television
can cause negative
impact
for their
kids
, while other people believe that
educational
purposes for their
kids
it is from
watching
television
as a positive source. In my opinion, it
is depends
from what
type of
programs
that they present for their
kids
to
learn
from
watch
TV. From
those statement
, it will be discussed as
an agreements
on this essay.
My first opinion,
watching
television
is not a problem for
kids
, unless several
programs
from the
television
will
give
a good
impact
for their
educational
purposes. For instance, their parents
give
a
plenty time
for their
kids
to
watch
and
learn
about alphabet from the
television
program
. Somehow, several children use their visual sense to understand about that, so it is why they can feel easier as a fast learner to
learn
from the
television
and
give
a positive
impact
for their
educational
purposes. However,
television
can
give
a chance to disability children with eyes problem to
learn
by
hear
the sound from
television
.
Another opinion,
television
can
give
more
information
about this world.
National geographic
as an example for this statement. This
program
includes all the species and wildlife or nature, which is properly to create
a meaningful
information
rather than we have to go there to see the species, we can use the
television
to get to know more. All the
programs
that served on
television
mostly are important and will
give
the audience as an entertaining and impactful
information
especially for
kids
with lots of questions in their live.
Watching
television
for their
kids
is not
giving
them bad
impact
, as long as their parents can control about what type of
television
program
for their
kids
. It is better to
give
them an
educational
program
than cartoon
program
, maybe it does not
give
them insight about
learning
. Several
programs
such as
national geographic
can also help children to understand and get the
information
about wildlife and nature in this world.