IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 5

IELTS Essay Sample Band 5

5.0
Overall Score
30 Jul 24, 11:31
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The essay addresses the question but contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Coherence and cohesion are moderate, but the ideas could be more logically developed and supported with clearer examples.

Overall score5.0
Grammatical range and accuracy4.0
Lexical resource5.0
Coherence & cohesion5.0
Task response5.0
Total Errors39
Grammatical range and accuracy16
Lexical resource14
Coherence & cohesion5
Task response4
Question
Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable.
What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places?
#Family
#Advantage / Disadvantage
Submitted Answer
English:UK English
Words:349
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Missing Linking Devices
Thesis Statement
Some of publics concur that youngsters will gain more benefits if they will be
grown
up in
city
, vice versa with others which some of them opine that
fauborg
deals more suitable for kids
growing
. Both of these views spread some advantages and
disanvantages
, where those will be elaborated trough this paper.
On the one hand,
city
has provided more supporting facilities and developed education institution. There are
many
progress schools and health cares that have been established in progress town, which it can be support every
children
future. This statement can be proved by amount of toddler medical centres in
city
and pre education are dealt for oldsters for their
children
. Unfortunately, on the other hand
there
many
struggling will be found in metropolitan, such as the huge amount of life
fees
, and minimum of
social
life.
Growing
children
in
city
need to consider their relation circle, where there are
a lot types
toxic
people behaviours in town. This trend creates more parents responsibilities to keep their kids stay
at
good way.
However,
many
socities
opine that care youngsters in village better due to safe
social
life, which it
suit
on every
children
growing
. The oldsters who decide
growing
their
children
in countryside must not keep their
chidren
24 hours a day
, because
the
social
situation where
every citizens
will take care each other. For example, if
there
a parent work in the farm yield they are able to leave their kids at home without worry. This
trend
are
supported by mostly of villagers know each other so they will socialize and unite for their own safety. But
growing
in
fauborg
,
children
do not have
many
choices for their following study because countryside just deal a
few educational institution
. This situation has forced the oldsters to send their
children
move
for good education.
To conclude this essay,
Growing
children
in
city
or village deal
many
contrast benefits and negative impacts, such as more developed facilities and opportunities
eventhough
there will be toxic
social
lrelation
in
city
, but countryside provides safety
social
enviromental
with fewer choices for progress facilities.