IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Band 7
IELTS Essay Sample Band 7
7.0
Overall Score
23 Jul 24, 16:44
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Overall Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the question, providing a clear opinion and relevant examples. However, there are some grammatical errors and minor issues with coherence and cohesion that could be improved for a higher score.
| Overall score | 7.0 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 7.0 | |
| Lexical resource | 6.0 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 7.0 | |
| Task response | 7.0 |
| Total Errors | 13 | |
| Grammatical range and accuracy | 1 | |
| Lexical resource | 6 | |
| Coherence & cohesion | 3 | |
| Task response | 3 |
Question
Some people believe that governments should ban dangerous sports, even though others claim they should have the freedom to choose a sport to their liking.
To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
#Sport
#Agree / Disagree
Submitted Answer
English:
Words:284
Paragraphs:4
Task Response
Readability
Coherence
Cohesion
Vocabulary Usage
Grammar Range
Ideas Development
Logical Flow
Some argue that extreme sports should be
banned
by governments, while others believe that individuals
should have the freedom to engage in any sport or activity
they choose. From my perspective, I would argue that individuals
have the right to participate in any sport or activity
, and I disagree with the notion of banning
dangerous
sports.First and foremost, those who feel that
dangerous
sports, such as ice skiing, boxing, and skydiving should be banned
, the primary concern is the risks of severe injuries and fatalities. These activities
can have a significant impact in several sectors, especially in healthcare service. The burden on the healthcare system, potentially diminishing the quality of care provided to patients due to limited facilities and staff. However, once the number of patients decreases, hospitals can manage their service more efficiently.However, despite the potential benefits of restricting
dangerous
sports, I argue that individuals
should have the freedom to choose their own choices regarding participation in such activities
. Allowing people to engage in these sports can enhance their mental resilience. For instance, boxing is the sport that helps individuals
develop mental toughness and the ability to handle high-pressure situations, which can be valuable in real-life scenarios such as self-defense
during a robbery. Furthermore, extreme sports can contribute to economic growth. For example, bullfighting in Spain is a cultural sport that attracts tourists and boosts the local economy.In conclusion, although it is true that
banning
dangerous
sports may offer some benefits to healthcare, I firmly believe that personal freedom is paramount. The mental resilience gained from participating in these sports and the economic benefits are significant reasons to allow individuals
the right to choose their own activities
.